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The Amnesiac's Motorcycle


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            I first became suspicious when my grandmother picked me up from school driving a motorcycle and wearing a leather jacket.  I knew that today, Grammy was picking me up from dismissal.  But I expected her to be in her Lexus convertible, not in a heart-attack-inducing vehicle – a motorcycle!!! It was all black with bulky tires and bright yellow headlights!  “What happened to the Lexus?” I yelled to be heard over the awful din of the motorcycle.  “Lexus shmexus” she exclaimed.  Upon seeing her on a motorcycle I almost fainted.

 
           In fact, I fainted on the motorcycle.  Grammy started swerving around the highway and almost wrecked 100 times!  People were yelling at Grammy and swerving to get away, because Grammy can’t drive a motorcycle.  The gale force winds almost took my head off 50 times!

At last, she careened into Carowinds and then zoomed into a dark tunnel that kept getting darker until we reached an illuminated cavern.  I could tell from the sign that read “warning: top secret military base, intruders will be prosecuted.”  That this was a top secret military base of operations headquarters that was located under Carowinds.  I leaped off just before the motorcycle crashed into a wall, and ejected Grammy into the air and I was thrown into a coughing spasm from the smoke. 

“Go fire a missile at Iran!” she ordered after she had brushed off the leaves from the bush she had landed on. 

“I don’t know how to, and I’m not authorized to.” I replied.

“Oh yes you are, you work here!” Grammy argued.

I started to retort, but was interrupted by an extremely vexed Batman swooping down and exclaiming “What in the blazes did you do to the bat-bike!!!!!!!!!!!!”(The motorcycle was his and he wasn’t very happy)  We were all perplexed when he proclaimed ‘Amnesia.’ and swiped a tool-like thingy in front of her and cured her.  Then we were all driven home in the Batmobile.  THE END!!!

 
 

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The Dollar


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One Saturday, I was at “Bank of America” to deposit a one dollar bill into my account. Except for me, there were no customers; giving the bank an eerie feeling. The bank was silent except for the TV that was playing the news channel. The air conditioning was on too high and the cold amplified the eerie appearance. I sat in a red chair for a while to contemplate my day, and then I proceeded to the teller to deposit the dollar.

 Suddenly, the George Washington on my dollar bill wailed in vexation “NO! Don’t deposit me! It’s harsh, dark, and cold in the safe, and I’m afraid of the dark! Spend me at Target!” But I replied “Nothing costs one dollar at Target.” “Then take me to the dollar store!” retorted George. The conversation continued in that manner.


During this exchange, the teller was looking more and more quizzical. Apparently he couldn’t hear George’s end of the argument. Supremely determined to rid my life of George, I swiftly deposited the complaining, squandering $1 bill in my account very forcefully (when he wasn’t looking), because I had been saving up for an item.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!





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Book Review: Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson


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                Some things that I disliked about Bridge to Terabithia were: the end, the plot, the writing style, and the emotion.  I recommend this book to people who like to read about death.

                I disliked the ending because the author killed off a main character.  I haven’t read any other books where the main character dies. I also found the ending as a cliff-hanger that doesn’t continue.  I wanted to know what happened next.

                I disliked the plot (Jess’ problem) because not getting enough attention from your parents is to be expected when you have four siblings.  Jess is barely noticed because he is the middle child.  Jess isn’t played with, because his two younger sisters need to be played with.  It is hard to give a good book an ordinary problem.

                I disliked the writing style because in my opinion, books written in first person have more detail than others.  The fact that this book was written in third person made it harder to understand.  I also could not understand some of the language that the characters were using.  At times, I barely understood what the characters meant.

                I disliked the emotion (towards the end) because the book was getting too sad for me.  I prefer reading books with mysterious or positive emotions.  In this book, it felt like the emotions were on a roller coaster with lots of hills.  Just when I thought that I had found the emotion, the emotion changed.

                I recommend this book to people who like to read about death.  In this book, one of the key elements is death.  Also, those who like to read about death will enjoy reading the ending.

                And that’s why I dislike the ending, plot, writing style, and emotion in Bridge to Terabithia.  It was also why I recommend the book to those who enjoy reading about death.  I hope that you understood what I meant!

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The Ladder


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Yesterday, I was having a delightful day just up until I met the bloodthirsty dragon called Leroy.  It all started at noon, when I found a medium-sized hole with a ladder in it.  I immediately dashed to my faithful friend Bob.  “EUREKA!” I screamed “I have found it! A hole in the ground! Come, help me explore!” Bob willingly followed me as I raced to the hole.  Together, we delicately descended the old worn ladder.  Once we got off the ladder, we felt a cold, evil chill wash over us.  “I don’t like this place, let’s leave” commented Bob.  We turned to climb back up the ladder, only to find that it was gone; replaced by a sign that read “Welcome to the Draconic Underworld!!!!!!”  “Well nuts to that.” I stated drily. “It appears that we’re stuck here unless there’s a way out at the other side of that LABYRINTH!”  “I’ll go see” declared Bob, and he entered the labyrinth, leaving me no choice but to follow him.  Getting through the maze was easy, and it took us a minute to get through it.  However, once we got through, we noticed a malefic dragon wearing a gargantuan suit of armor!  I was shivering and all that I could think was “Were on Earth did he get that?”  The dragon grinned and announced “Hi! I am Leroy, DIE!!!!”  “Dude, that is SO old-fashioned.” I replied critically.  “Yeah” Agreed Bob.  Leroy turned red and crawled away whimpering.  The ladder that Leroy had been guarding was now unguarded.  Together, we bolted up the ladder as fast as possible to go home.

            THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Penguin Story


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One sweltering summer Saturday, I decided to get a Popsicle, so I went to the refrigerator to find one.  I opened the refrigerator, but all that I saw was an emperor penguin!  “SHUT THE DOOR! YOU ARE CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING!” screamed the penguin, making me jump! 
Emperor Penguin in the refrigerator!
Quivering, I slowly obeyed the kingly demand from Antarctica.  I realized that the only way to get myself a Popsicle was to enter the other continent inside my refrigerator.  I put on my boots, heavy coat, mittens, scarf, and hat and marched to the freezer.  Thankfully the penguin had moved a few feet from the entrance and was no longer blocking my path.  I climbed in (closing the door of course) and walked over to speak with him.  Once I reached him, I did the obvious: I asked him “What happened to my Popsicles”?  “Is that what you call the bright edible daggers I found”? questioned the penguin, wide-eyed.   “Yes” I replied, and then prompted “Well what did you do with them”?  The penguin now looked incredibly guilty “When it’s summer in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s winter down here in the Southern Hemisphere.  I was barely managing to keep the baby warm on my feet while I huddled with the others.  Just the other day, the females returned from fishing, but my wife couldn’t find enough fish, so when I discovered the Popsicles I instantly thought ‘miracle cure’!  I brought some of them back to my family for dinner.  I had no idea that they were yours” the penguin solemnly admitted and returned the Popsicles to me.  Then I remembered that the temperature was 100o below 0! I thanked the penguin and told him that I had to leave immediately.  Then I returned to my warm, toasty home.
            THE END!!!
Emperor Penguin family
 

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